The Penguin Army On The Underground

It was my birthday recently. As a friend’s 5 year old handed me a birthday present, she asked me how old I was. “Why don’t you guess, my darling!” I sang, beaming at her. I was happy! I’d had a huge lie-in! I was going to have Wagamama’s for lunch! It was my … Continue reading

A Sound Relationship Is Based Upon…

New relationships are all about fluttering butterflies in your tummy when the phone rings, hearts fit to burst with chest thumping excitement when he reaches to hold your hand, not knowing how many kisses to put at the end of a text message. New relationships are full of romance! And thrills! And lies. Face facts. New relationships are … Continue reading

Pool Rules

When I win the lottery the first thing I am going to do is buy a massive house with its own swimming pool, as any decent lottery winner worth half their new expensive Fortnum & Mason salt should. But my reasons are perhaps less, mmmm, what’s the word? Sane. You may remember from before, … Continue reading