“Don’t run in the dark!” my mum said. “Don’t run in the rain!” my friend said. “Wear the dickhead lamp!” husband said (miner’s head lamp). Did I listen to any of this really good and actually really sensible, brilliant advice? Did I? DID I?! Did I hell. I ran in the … Continue reading
A month or so back I shamelessly ripped off that episode of The Great British Bake Off where they made gingerbread buildings, and created a competition of my own called And tonight I cut the ribbon, sound the alarm, release my flying monkeys and announce it is time to get spicy! It’s … Continue reading
I am getting my merry jolly happy Chrimbo on. On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me, An uninterupted wee! On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me, Two inches off my bum And an uninterputed wee! On the … Continue reading
The other day I stripped down to my underpants and strutted about in front of a room full of strangers. I had made sure I had shaved my legs especially, because I knew they would be able to see me in my almost-naked-glory. They, I got in to a giant … Continue reading
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