“Never ever will I ever” said she who know’s it all

In the days before my womb had been used as rental accommodation, I had some pretty strong views on things I would never, ever do as a mother. I was a fool. I declared I would: 1) Never, ever let them eat food I have not yet paid for whilst … Continue reading

Eye Spy My Bum Cheeks Squeezing Together

Things I avoid – 1) Acknowledging the calorie content in wine 2) Using public loos 3) Cleaning out the fish. I may as well not bother doing this anyway – we have had him for 7 years and he has this amazing ability to avoid death. He has only one fin now and … Continue reading

It’s all about ME

Monday. Three weeks ago. As Smudge was getting changed out of his suit after work I said “How would you feel about us having another baby?” As his jaw hit the floor I am pretty sure his testicles leapt back up in to his body. “HAVE YOU GONE MENTAL?!” Perhaps. “I think you should do … Continue reading