Blog Block

I had me some Blog Block yesterday. Ugh. So I went out for a run and turned on my tunes.

Running with music blaring out is a bit like being in a movie. Like when the hero runs through a meadow towards a foxy minx, or runs away through a field being chased by zombies. It’s good fun pretending to be in a movie. Especially as my husband told me I looked like Robocop with my new phone-holder (or holster, shall we call it) strapped to my upper left gun. *smug face*

Although, wait? Like Robocop? Beefy and manish?

Stops running.

Nah. He must be thinking of another holster wearing strong movie hero. Sarah Connor in Terminator 2.

POW! And I start running again, looking in to the horizon, narrowing my eyes and thinking there is a storm coming…

That is until an old banger full of teenage boys whizzes past me and shouts

“LESBIAN!”

I stop. Shocked.

Maybe I do rock the manly android look?

Or, thinking back on it, it was probably more likely it was

“LET’S RUN!”

But that’s not the point, ok? I get this a lot. People shouting stuff at me. Because I am a ginger. I got it at school, which was crappy but kids are vile to each other. I didn’t expect to get it when I was grown up. But get it I did and get it did I good (get your pointless whipsy beard attempt laughing tackle round THAT you little chavs). Wandering through the pretty quaint little town of Wendover one summer, appreciating the warm sun on my face and admiring the 20% Cath Kidston sale, this bellend suddenly drove past me in a Golf and shouted out

“GINGER!”

I felt a bit shocked. And sad. I mean…why? But then anger kicks in and I always wish I was clever and quick enough to have a witty comeback then and there, and not 4 hours later driving down the A404 with my dad.

I am not the kind of person who is quick enough to shout

“BLONDIE!” (whose song, incidently “One way or another” is an excellent running song)

Anyway, tonight, like 10 years ago, the chav’s drove on not giving me a second thought. And as I run away (from the baddies and my memories *sigh*) it starts to rain. And I go back to being with my music and on my movie-set. Is it raining? I hadn’t noticed. Except no wait, I DO notice! My phones USB hole is exposed in my gun holster! It is suddenly chucking it down! I cradle my left arm across my chest like it is in an imaginary waterproof sling, batting away the drizzly air rushing towards me like a drowning cat with one paw. Or like how a camp man might fight another camp man.

And in to my brain pops Tom from Bridget Jones’ diary. I imagine he would fight like a drowning one limbed feline… and my memories unravel like a ball of soggy wool until I remember…

Ah crap.

I have a friend who reminds me a lot of Tom from Bridget Jones’ Diary. And one of our favourite games was driving around in another friends car, and when we spotted a pedestrian on the street, and we were far enough away from stopping risks like traffic lights, we used to shout out the window

“ADRIAN!”

and wave like mad like we knew them.

We were not being mean. It was our hilarious game and we always used to collapse in a fit of giggles in the backseat when they used to jump about 10 billion feet in the air, looking really confused.

Karma, of sorts then? Me being a LESBIAN!

And here in endeth the Blog Block.

But Robocop does need your help. My husband is horrified that I run blaring music out of my phone sans headphones (I have weird shaped ear holes and the little wotsits just keep falling out all the god damn time and Robocop stops for no man nor techincal beast). He likens it to me running along reading my book out loud so everyone knows what I am doing for entertainment (he always threatens to do this whenever we are on a train and some chavvy loser is blaring out N Dubz or One Direction and reaches for his book like he is reaching for a loaded gun…a weapon of words…). But music is my movie soundtrack and keeps me trucking along. And I need more running tune-age suggestions. Anyone recommend anything decent to keep Robocop on the road?

 

 

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23 Responses to Blog Block

  1. This post reminds me of an old episode of Ally McBeal that I’ve never forgotten. The message was that everyone should have their own personal theme tune which they should play in their head during moments when extra confidence is needed. It works! In terms of running tunes, Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’ from the film 8 Mile is my all time favourite!

    • Hannah says:

      HA! Yes, I remember that episode too! Blimey – flaskbacks! Little bit of Barry White could work too! Eminem – awesome idea. Will download that one!
      Thank you Wendy.
      x

  2. hitmanharris says:

    Have you tried sports headphones that loop over your ear to stop them falling out? I have big ear holes and this works for me. I would also add ‘Gonna fly now’ by Bill Conti (AKA theme from Rocky) to your list – impossible not to feel amazing when this is on.

    I used to live in Manchester and my training runs used to regularly take me past groups of scallies hanging out on street corners. As well as shouting ‘run faster fatty’ they used to love running alongside me in a ‘comedy’ fashion. What always amused me was that they were so unfit they couldn’t keep up for more than about 20 metres. I used to enjoy extending a single finger over my shoulder as I pulled away.

    • Hannah says:

      This made me chuckle. I like your style and stamina (pesky kids).
      Awesome song suggestion – will download that now.
      Funnily enough I just opened a comment on FB on the blog link from someone suggesting the same loopy-over-ear-y headphones. £6 from amazon, I can’t not really can I? Excellent idea. Will get right on it.
      Thanks for commenting.
      x

  3. Dave Rostron says:

    I am with hitmanharris on this – the loopy headphones are great as the normal ones will not stay in my lugholes either. Running around with your music blaring takes a supreme amount confidence so Kudos to you on that!

    For my runs I tend to stick to what I know and go with 90′s britpop or 90′s dance (music, as far as I’m concerned, stopped being good around 2001). Not sure if you have the “Power Song” button on your Ipod thingy but I do on mine (oooooh get him)… that is some awesome sauce right there! You press it when you are lugging yourself up a bloody great hill or whatever and you need a boost. My power song is “Embers” by JustJack. That is some proper “End of Film” music there. Imagine a Sports montage that the BBC are good at but instead of images of Jessica Ennis or Mo Farrah legging it over some hurdles or whatever there is me, very Red-faced and sweaty dry-heaving into a bush. On that image I shall love you and leave you! Toodles

    • Hannah says:

      HA! Awesome Dave – am on it. I do like to pretend I am famous when running. When it was pissing it down yesterday and I had to sprint home I imagined everyone looking out their windows thinking “Whattagal, look at her go!”. Probably they were saying “steady on, love, don’t do yourself a mischief”.
      Am ordering some of those ear bad boys now.
      Thanks for commenting mate. Love to the family.
      x

  4. Dave Rostron says:

    ….Another good song for running is “Sticks and Stones” by Jamie T.

  5. bonnniecroft says:

    Just one suggestion darling …… John Denver x

  6. Caroline carter says:

    slightly off the point but…I’ve always wanted red hair. One of my best friends at school had red hair. I used to fancy Boris Becker, Chris Evans and Jason Fleming because they had red hair. Matt and I both thought having a girl called Phoebe with red hair would be ace. One of Phoebe’s best mates has red hair and Phoebe’s birthday present next week is a doll with red hair that she specifically requested and chose because of the hair colour. (bobbed hair too not really long hair, because apparently that would be silly because it would go down the toilet when she had a wee!)

    So if ever you and your gorgeous red headed boys want a fan club pop round for a cuppa and we boring mousy blonde types will swoon in awe and envy of your radiant locks.

    xxx

  7. Angie C says:

    A car of boys shouted MILF at me, I wasn’t with a child or pregnant so I MUST have looked fat, this upset me for about 10 seconds then I realised they still would and I’ve still got it.

  8. Rachel Haines says:

    Sorry but I have to agree with your husband about the music blaring, that would probably get a tut, sigh and eye-roll from me- I might even be tempted to shout abuse at you myself. Maybe your tormentors were actually offended by your choice of song and shouting “Turn it down!” and you just couldn’t hear them properly over the music… Anyway for me the ultimate running song is The Cult- “She Sells Sanctuary”. Pixies- “Isla de Encanta” which was used on the Mastercard (I think) advert (the fat man running until he becomes thin & ends up as a footballer one) during the World Cup, is always good and finally Martin Solveig- “Hello” is great (I defy you not to punch the air & shout “Hey!” along with the song too). Ooh I’ve never responded to a blog post before, think I’d better go and lie down… x

    • Hannah says:

      Yeah but that’s because you are in your late 50′s ;-)
      Nah, you are all right. I am investing in some of those over-the-ear-y headphones so I don’t annoy people anymore.
      Thanks for reading and for commenting!
      x

  9. Julia goolia says:

    These should do the job robocop… http://www.besportier.com/archives/sport-headphones-for-running-sennheiser-pmx80-sport-series-II-behind-the-head-ear-phones-for-sports.jpg (good colour too!!)
    As for the little street ikes-prepare some quips to yell back. I regularly get called gigantor when out running!
    X x x

  10. I can’t believe someone would shout that! So rude. I would have been super cross at that.

  11. I’m not sure if it’ll be any good as a running song, but you definitely need this one in the collection to flip on if any more Golf bellends shout “Ginger” at you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWCi7Xg7UeQ

    “We’re gonna be Ginger and freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

  12. Nicola says:

    I seem to remember you being told by a charming chap in the pub in Cinderford that you could make a lot of money as a ginger…..

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