Cheerios have become synonymous with the stench of sh*t in our house. I can no longer tell the difference between cheerios and poo. Husband walks into kitchen at breakfast time;
“whats that STINK?! Has Alex shat himself?!”
“no darling, thats breakfast”.
They just smell the same….going in and going out….
Anyway, todays ingredients are - An onion, oats, bicarb of soda and some lavender. For tonights meal? No. For tonights battle against the pox. Oh and wine.
So, the pox is back in our house. Ed lulled us into a false sense of security with his bout. He suffered, but the Gruffalo pulled him through and he was ok. The Alex got it and got really aggressive and kept headbutting us. “Maybe his head is itchy?” my husband says as Alex nuts him repeatedly shouting “NOOOOOOOO!”.
He really struggled and was all itchy and gross looking with this moustache of snot and spots and didn’t sleep. For days. For DAYS. I don’t just mean naps. I mean, he didn’t sleep. We took it in shifts and I came downstairs at 1am to find Alex bouncing on the open door of the dishwasher (he was at least happy) and my husband cooking; ” We are having a cheese and toast party!” he said. I went back to bed.
Tips we found helped *strokes pretend beard. No wait, strokes actual beard (its my age)*
- Calpol and ibuproufen, of course. Some of our friends recommended Medicet…but we decided not to go for this. I know it has been banned for under 6′s or something and you have to lie to the chemist to get it. Some of our friends assured us this was because some people got silly and overdosed their children on it. But we just decided not to go for it and try alternatives.
- Bi-carb of soda in the bath. Couple of spoons.
- Virasoothe. Apparently calamine lotion isn’t recommended anymore because it is too drying on the skin. My mother laughed when I told her this.
- Oats in the bath. Good old porridge oats, a handful in a muslin cloth, in the bath. Bish bash bosh.
- Antihistimines. Chemist warned me they could make baby drowsy. Her ripped off bloody arm is still attached to the box.
- Aqueous and calamine lotion. And a bonus is it pink. I don’t get a lot of pink things in my house of willies. It was pleasing. And cheap as chips. Cheaper even. About £1.30 a pot.
- An onion. Honest. A sliced onion in the room helps to keep the head clear during the night. Not specifically to help pox, but it helps the symptoms of pox. (also, by the by, did you know that onions are a big source of food poisoning? If the onion is a bit green, don’t eat it – it is bacteria)
- Eurax. Not laxative for the europeans but anti-itch cream for everyone.
- Kleenex menthol tissues. Super soft and good for the following…runny snot, sticky snot, dried morning snot, green snot, yellow snot, caked on snot and constant snot. Perfect for nose wiping, blowing, gentle chiselling and the delicate dab. All is good in this snotty hood.
- Aloe vera gel. Soothing. Smells nice. And irristiably cheery – can’t help but say “allo Vera!” in cheery Northern voice.
- Lavender oil – couple of dabs on a hanky in the bedroom is super soothing, relaxing and lovely.
- Wine for mummies and daddies
- Radox for mummies and daddies baths.
- Catch mit to catch the creamy, gelled, dopey and drugged slippery little bugger after all of the above has been applied.