NO BALLS ALLOWED

Get your balls out of my face.

This may come as a huge SHOCK to some of you fellas, but I have no desire to see your big hairy nutsack in GIANT LARGE PHOTO MODE. I don’t want it staring at back at me as I log onto Facebook to see if A has had her baby, if B still hates her job and if C has finally stopped doing irritating coded messages like

“I just don’t know how this could happen!”

“What happened hunni?”

“Babes, wotz up init?” (note of course neither of these responses would be from me. Not because I don’t care, but because spelling and not calling someone you barely know “hunni” are important to me)

only for said kind, concerned and interested questions to go unanswered forever and ever and ever amen.

Men. Please stop the visual eyebomb that is you beaming like a buffoon while you proudly thrust your besocked todger towards the camera. If you feel that you really really must do this, then do it. But I don’t want to see it so don’t let it show in my Facebook or Twitter time line.

Let me go back a day or so. You would have to have been living underground on the moon, (a moon in a different solar system, mind) to not have been aware of the “Go Bare Faced For Cancer” campaign that has been splattered all over social media this week like used facial wipes on a bathroom mirror.

Or not be on Facebook.

It’s not been without it’s misunderstanding and criticisms. People angrily jumping up and down on their soap box, juddering about and hissing:

“THIS IS STUPID! DONATE SOME MONEY INSTEAD OF DONATING TO SOCIAL MEDIA A PHOTO OF YOU WITHOUT YOUR SLAP ON!”

My opinion? Cross, jittery, hastily typed out comments like this provide further publicity to the cause because it makes someone who may not have read the whole comment list under said photo to go:

“Aye, aye! What’s this rant about then?”

and become aware of a cause that was not already on their radar, and donate some money to said cause.

Secondly, most people who do post a photo, then donate some money. Bravo! Some people posting photos of themselves however, may not be able to financially afford to donate their money. But what they are doing is spreading a message that someone who does have a spare fiver might see, and might use to donate it on this cause.

Thirdly, is what my friend put on her Facebook page, as someone who has had cancer, has lost her hair, has been incredibly ill, has annual monitoring but has beaten cancer. To her these photos of women removing their war paint and showing the warrior underneath are incredibly supportive. For her, it represented a lovely show of solidarity.

So. There you go. From the horses mouth (I’m not calling you a horse by the way).

Every single woman I saw who had posted a photo without lippy, foundation, mascara, looked utterly beautiful. No word of a lie. Turns out, they looked better without make up, than with it. Truly. All glowy and fresh. The kind of faces that make you want to scream OH GO AWAY AND TAKE YOUR NATURAL BEAUTY WITH YOU.

When a campaign gets it right, it gets it right. And it inevitably and almost instantly creates a surge of other campaigns trying to plug into the “thing” that made said campaign work. I guess someone saw women baring all, and took this literally. As in to mean, naked.

The women taking off their make up were showing a different kind of naked. An inner nakedness. They were letting down their guard and showing their true selves in the name of something they felt was important.

Social Media is now bubbling with people putting photos of themselves with, yup, you guessed it (the name of the campaign lacking mystery and intrigue) putting their penis in a sock and photographing themselves. To raise awareness for cancer. Don’t get me wrong. I am not dismissing raising money for charity and doing something brave in order to do so. Raising awareness and raising money is incredibly important.

Obviously.

But this? This just seems a bit crass. A bit

“WAAAAA! MY NOB IS IN A SOCK LOOK AT MY NOB IN A SOCK!”.

Men SHOULD do online campaigns to raise cancer awareness. And they do. But this? Really? For me, ultimately, it comes down to this. I just don’t want to see your cock in a sock. Again, don’t misunderstand me. Charity? Yes. And this is not coming from a prudish angle either. I am no prude. But even if James Franco himself (God bless his beautiful soul and body) posted a photo of his cock in a sock, I would still throw up a little bit in my mouth.

I do not want to see it.

This campaign for me, falls short (there are SO MANY penis puns to be had in this blog. Note, I am sitting on my hands and ignoring all of them). This campaign does not make me feel a big rush of pride at people raising awareness of male cancers and as my friend said, showing support and solidarity. That message does not reach me from these photos. The women? Bare faced? Exposing emotion. Men with their willies in socks? Exposing too much flesh. What if my kid was walking about behind me as I was quickly popping on Facebook and saw it?

Nah. Not cool.

And personally, it makes me feel a bit violated really. I don’t want it.

I will of course, donate to cancer charities for men, and for women. I donate to lots of charities. Seeing good campaigns for charities reminds us, if we can, to throw a couple of quid in the pot. The cause could affect us one day. But please do it tastefully and with respect for everyone involved.

Finally, if you MUST post a picture of a cock in a sock? How about this one?

cock in a sock

Finally, (soz) more Blogging Awards. This time it’s Britmums. Sorry for being a BORE. But if you did want to vote then that would be nice.

Britmums 2014

 

 

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5 Responses to NO BALLS ALLOWED

  1. Thoroughly agree with you Hannah. Good for you.xx

    • Hannah says:

      Thanks Aunty Kath! Sorry for the mass use of the c word – it’s the official word used for the charity. xx

  2. Bonniecroft says:

    But Hannah that is where most men keep their brains !!!!!!

  3. Ha ha ha this had me laughing out loud HUNNI!! I came across my first cock in a (stripy) sock yesterday….I was genuinely shocked. So not cool!

    • Hannah says:

      Was it an explosive attack on your visual senses, HUN? I KNOW! So glad it’s not just me who is perturbed by it! Thanks so much for reading and commenting my lovely! xxx

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