Buzz buzz

It’s been a while since my last blog. I’ve defrosted a meal and Scooby Doo is on. I have a limited amount of time before the children realise it does not take an hour to reheat a spaghetti bolognaise and they hunt me down to shout at me until I perform … Continue reading

Legoland

Warning – this blog comes with a lot of gloating. Our Father’s Day this year (note the “our”, me not having a penis and all) was AMAZING. Not only am I getting some posh scran as a finalist at the MAD Blogging Awards in September, I was also given a … Continue reading

Sometimes a sacrifice needs to be made

It was like the Munchkins had escaped from Oz. Exhilarated by their independence yet unperturbed about their lack of knowledge of the actual rules, they had decided to form a football team. And then discovered Fruit Shoots and Ben Ten. A tribe of tiny people zooming about going “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” One had a … Continue reading

Your head will cave in

“Edward! Don’t bite your toenails! It’s disgusting” says I. “But they’re clean. They’re mine” says he. Whilst I can’t fault his logic, I can still fault the act itself. It’s disgusting. We don’t even own a pet he may have copied this from. We have a fish, Colin, with one … Continue reading

What have they got in there? King Kong?

“Excellent!” said Smudge, holding Alex at arms length and angling Alex’s puffy-all-in-one-snowsuited body so that his feet were shoved in my face. “The very first step out of the car and it is into some sort of indeterminable poo.” “For goodness sakes, Smudge” I hiss “It’s a zoo! It’s not the … Continue reading