The Answer Is No

I slaved over a home made gingerbread house yesterday afternoon for two hours. It ended up a massive eye-bomb, a technically flawed disaster and utter turd. As I shoved handfuls of pointless and unrequired decorative Jelly Tots into my mouth, not even bothering to chew, Ed walked into the kitchen, froze, and dropped some … Continue reading

Buzz buzz

It’s been a while since my last blog. I’ve defrosted a meal and Scooby Doo is on. I have a limited amount of time before the children realise it does not take an hour to reheat a spaghetti bolognaise and they hunt me down to shout at me until I perform … Continue reading

Eye Spy My Bum Cheeks Squeezing Together

Things I avoid – 1) Acknowledging the calorie content in wine 2) Using public loos 3) Cleaning out the fish. I may as well not bother doing this anyway – we have had him for 7 years and he has this amazing ability to avoid death. He has only one fin now and … Continue reading

What have they got in there? King Kong?

“Excellent!” said Smudge, holding Alex at arms length and angling Alex’s puffy-all-in-one-snowsuited body so that his feet were shoved in my face. “The very first step out of the car and it is into some sort of indeterminable poo.” “For goodness sakes, Smudge” I hiss “It’s a zoo! It’s not the … Continue reading

A blog bubble and squeak

This Christmas I gave myself a little Christmas present. I wrapped it up, put it in a bag, and squirrelled it away. Not until Christmas morning, but until New Years Day. It was my laptop. Because as much as I love blogging, and I really do love it, I just needed … Continue reading