The pox hit our village. Just put a big cross on the door, pop on the telly and crack open the biscuits and virasoothe.
With the 3 year old slouched on the sofa, riddled with spots and only speaking in grunts, I had flash fowards to when he would be 15 and doing much the same. The only things keeping him happy him happy were; 1) the fact i told him that the spots on his chest had formed a dot to dot of a digger. This was of course a lie. 2) The Gruffalo on DVD. He was watching it cuddling his Gruffalo toy, his silky blanket and two of the hoover attatchments…maybe I need to slow down on the calpol. We were on our 5th showing of The Gruffalo, in a ROW, and my mind started to wander…
Imagine if the mouse in the Gruffalo was voiced by Brad Pitt. It wouldn’t work. As brilliant as Brad is, he couldn’t do “mouse”. Only James Corden can pull it off. His cheeky chappy voice (I smile whimsically and with appreciation even as I write this). He is also the only one who can get away with all that time-filling sighing without making it sound like porn. Although, having said that, perhaps the following people could pull off the voices for some of the characters in The Gruffalo;
The mouse; Morgan Freeman; shut your eyes and imagine. It would be dreamy. Imagine his deep soothing voice saying “Waaahh thaynkyou Fawx, but…nooo. Iawm off to have tea (Morgan’s characteristic pause), with (and again) a Grauwfalow”.
The owl; Arnold Schwartzeneger. “Leedle brawwwwn mawwwse. Cawm fowwr deeenar, or I weeel bazooooka yoooo”.
Still on the owl…Or Antony Hopkins. Oh yes, that would work. He’d be a good owl. Come and have some chianti in my tree top house. All sinister and classy. (and not encouraging the kids to drink, of course. They wont know what a chianti is. And if they do that is really sad and it’s a whole other issue to address, probably more important than thinking up new voices for The Gruffalo.)
The snake; It has to be Clint Eastwood. Come into my log pile house, punk. *curls upper lip*.
The Fox. Bill Nighy. All swagger and tight jeans, swilling around a glass of wine with a load of back up groupie Adders behind him. ( searched high and low for a useable quote from Love Actually. There is none appropriate to link with The Gruffalo)
Or Michael Cain. “Arrwright little brown mouse. show some bladdy respect”.
The Gruffalo Live is touring again – Thank God. We got to the 7th viewing in the end, in one day, and I had to cut Ed off. Yes he had the pox. Yes he was riddled with pus and scabs and itchy and yes I had slammed his head (accidently) in the car door earlier on in the day, but I couldn’t cope anymore. It became a case of “Oh help. Oh No. It’s The (bloody) Gruffalo (again)”. As much as I love James and Robbie and Rob and Helena. It is always nice to get a different interpretation on things and a different set of voices. Therefore, the live show is always a must and is positively charming and endearing. Please follow them on twitter (and say i sent you). @theGruffaloLive