There is no gentle way to lead in to this. I am just going to do it quickly. Like ripping off a plaster. Except it wasn’t a plaster that got ripped off. It was ME.
Today, my broccoli cost me £1.40.
ONE POUND BLOODY FORTY PENCE!!!!!!!!!!!
I like to support my local grocer when I can. He doesn’t do clubcard points which is a bit thumbs down but sometimes he does do “free”. On the one day in their little lives the kids didn’t go in to any kind of shop and start acting like London riotters, it was in this specific green grocers. He gave them each an apple and a little cheeky cheek pinch. It was like going shopping just after the war had finished, or in a charming scene from the recently cancelled (because it was awful) BBC series Upstairs Downstairs.
When we first moved to the village I stopped off at this grocers and got some veg together. When it came to paying I realised, to my absolute horror, that I had left my purse at home. I wished the ground would swallow me up as I started rushing about putting it all back, but know what he did? He stopped me. He told with the friendliest jolliest face ever to not worry, to take it home and to pay him some other time. My jaw dropped. Then he asked me, very discreetly, did I need to borrow any more money if I was out shopping and off to the butchers. You don’t get THAT in Tesco’s.
But what you do get in Tescos is veg just as expensive as the brocolli I am talking about from my little friendly local green grocers. A cauliflower (small, browning and hidden under a big fat heavy coat of leaves) set me back £1.20 on Sunday. I am well aware I looked like I had swallowed a wasp when I was paying. I was bitter.
I know about shipping costs. I know about climate affecting veggie growth but £1.20 for a cauliflower? Really? Does it REALLY need to be this bad? It is cheaper for me to feed my kids burgers made from ground down bone and gristle and mouse turd that to give them a healthy meal. I can pick up 12 fish fingers for a quid. I can buy 4 chocolate bars for one pound from co-op in a multi-pack. I utterly resent it being “ok” for it to be less costly for the kids to risk biting in to a chickens brain in a chicken dipper than for them to eat a lovely healthy vitamin enriched dinner.
Cash for gold will be a thing of the past. This. THIS is the future!
A courgette will have a greater value than petrol! Or diamonds! Celebrities will start doing things like this
Things like this won’t be a joke anymore, or considered fancy dress. It will become a reality!
Vegetables will become something only the uber rich can afford – like hybrid cars and private jets (often the same celebs driving their hybrid cars to get to their private jets. Idiots) and personal trainers and free tickets to the Wimbledon final.
All joking aside, a brocolli costing £1.40 is ridiculous. Kids need healthy food.