Or a tummy tuck. I would like a tummy tuck.
It is a difficult fact to swallow, no pun intended, but after two kids my stomach muscles are split beyond the ability to reform naturally. I have a mummy tummy. I suck it in. It does no good. And it just hurts to even suck it in now so I mostly don’t do that anymore. I am not at the stage where I am just giving in and wearing mummy tummy jeans (the kind that go up over your stomach and under your boobs), I try to hide it with cardigans and the like. But I will at one point get to that stage if I don’t do something soon. I am beyond the point of wearing a belt Gok Wan style, above my waist to “suck it all in dahhhling!”. It doesn’t suck it all in because “It” has to find a place to go somewhere so “it” just migrates south and becomes a bulge. People do that thing where they mean it in a nice way but whatever way they say it, it isn’t nice. “Wow, you look amazing, considering you have had two kids”. There it is, there is the word “considering”. I feel like saying, “thanks, you look amazing, considering your face is ugly”. Hurts doesn’t it? But it is true, sad fact. Considering considering considering. Time to suck in the gut *inhale…keep inhaling…don’t pass out*
My friend Sam lost loads of weight after her second baby and told me it was because she didn’t see any point in loosing weight after the first because she would soon, hopefully be pregnant again so would just get chubby again. I totally get this. I won’t be having any more babies anytime soon (at all if Mr Smith gets his vasectomy way) so now is the time for me to try and regain my figure. Or…have a convo with the checkout lady at Sainsbos about this who told me Sainsburys are doing an all-in-one for £12 which hides your bumps. I got one. I am just going to staple it to my skin. Smudge will see it so often he will end up believing the space between my paler than snow shoulders and whiter than light knees is black.