Dress To Unimpress

I thought we had at least another 5 years before this problem reared it’s ugly comb-overed head. But no. Smudge’s mid-life crisis arrived this month, and it arrived via Royal Mail. In the form of a leather biker jacket. He ordered it online and had them deliver to our home. He violated … Continue reading

Humans And Bananas

Halloween has inspired me! I saw a small child dressed head to toe in fancy dress oozing blood and gore and guts (all together now – awwwwww), stumbling about in the street at 4pm like a well seasoned drunk and it got me thinking….Like the human and the banana, kids … Continue reading

The Urge

I was a really good neighbour over the holidays and took my kids out LOADS to give next door a break from all the SCREAMING AND INCREDIBLY LOUD SHOUTING. One of those places, was London. London. Growing up on the Isle of Wight in the 1980’s I always had a big fear of … Continue reading

What have they got in there? King Kong?

“Excellent!” said Smudge, holding Alex at arms length and angling Alex’s puffy-all-in-one-snowsuited body so that his feet were shoved in my face. “The very first step out of the car and it is into some sort of indeterminable poo.” “For goodness sakes, Smudge” I hiss “It’s a zoo! It’s not the … Continue reading