The Penguin Army On The Underground

It was my birthday recently. As a friend’s 5 year old handed me a birthday present, she asked me how old I was. “Why don’t you guess, my darling!” I sang, beaming at her. I was happy! I’d had a huge lie-in! I was going to have Wagamama’s for lunch! It was my … Continue reading

The Answer Is No

I slaved over a home made gingerbread house yesterday afternoon for two hours. It ended up a massive eye-bomb, a technically flawed disaster and utter turd. As I shoved handfuls of pointless and unrequired decorative Jelly Tots into my mouth, not even bothering to chew, Ed walked into the kitchen, froze, and dropped some … Continue reading